mind your business: Healing a Broken Relationship at Work
5. Exercise It as Soon as You Can
Like a broken leg, every broken relationship demands exercise and real use. This is the scariest part for most people. What if it hurts? What if it doesn't feel exactly like it did before it was broken?
Try to go slow at first. Listen for when you might be pushing too hard and then ease up a little. Still, waiting too long can be a big mistake. Avoiding pain is a built-in characteristic of all humans, but sometimes the difference between success and failure is just the difference between succumbing to our natural human tendencies and climbing above them.
6. Find a Way to Trust
Did you know that a healed broken bone is often stronger than the original bone? The biological processes that stitch bone back together produce stronger bones than the originals. The same is possible with broken relationships.
Consider this: in life, accidents happen—miscommunications, misinterpretations. Bumped and bruised relationships are inevitable.
But fundamentally, people are scared and insecure to some degree. They worry other people won't like them, or that people are out to get them. They worry that they can't predict what other people will do, or that bad things will come their way unexpectedly.
The best human relationships eliminate these fears. A good friend will not purposefully hurt you, and will act in ways you can predict. This is trust.
Our relationships at work require the same thing. We need to do things to communicate to people that they can trust us—that we won't "act out" and purposefully hurt them, even when we feel bumped or bruised. We also need to demonstrate that our actions are understandable and normal. They can be predicted—even when we might have a "right" to act out. These two things help people trust us. And a healed relationship is one where there is trust.