There's no business like snow business, or something like that. In case you haven't heard, it's been a rough winter for the East Coast. So, we're taking out our frustrations on Mother Nature in a collection of cold-weather-themed hot product write-ups. Cheers to sunny days ahead (hopefully by the time you read this).
It used to be if you wanted to make your country's Olympic ice hockey team, you had to train your whole life and have access to the best ice rinks money could buy. But not anymore. Now all you have to do is grab a Plastic Hockey Stick from AAkron Line and step outside, because every walk down the sidewalk in this arctic wasteland of a winter is a free lesson in ice skating. For more information, visitwww.aakronline.com.
We're trying to get rid of all the snow and ice that just won't go away here in Philadelphia. We thought if everyone gets the Snow Cone Machine from Hammacher Schlemmer, we might be able to accomplish this-or at the very least, make better use of some of this now-icy snow outside. The Snow Cone Machine also has two syrup pumps, so we won't have to decide between blue raspberry and cherry. For more information, visit www.hammacher.com.
Moderne Glass Co. Inc.
"And the award for the most garbage winter goes to ... the entire East Coast! Congratulations! For being buried once again in over a foot of snow, you're rewarded with the Large Iceburg Award from Moderne Glass Co. Inc. Enjoy it, because it's the last sign of civilization you'll see." For more information, visit www.glassamerica.com.
Why are we fine with the coming snowstorm that's set to bury Philly tomorrow? Because we're going to take every element of our lives, pack it up into the Ultimate Space Saving Travel Kit from Banaka Inc., and move someplace where there is never any snow, like the Bahamas or an especially cozy volcano. (Trust us, once we set up our futon, maybe hang some Christmas lights, our volcano cave is going to be awesome.) For more information, visit www.banaka.net.